Clash of the Titans

Finally the schedule makers see fit to bring together the league's most successful franchise and the league's most popular franchise in Norfolk, VA this week. The Shipmen and Clients haven't met since 2004. There was some talk of hurt feelings after GWB edged Kerry in the last Presidential Election, but FAASPN has learned the true origin of the riff between these two proud men.

New York Clients owner Orlando Hampton is a compassionate and understanding man. He is willing to look the other way when it comes to Dwayne's political affiliations, his insatiable appetite for spicy wings, his ruining of Hot Stove football and even his sporting a box in high school that wasn't faded. But Hampton draws the line at the skinny tie from the yearbook picture. "I know Dwayne is 148 years old, but skinny ties have been out for at least 170 years now", said Hampton during an hour long phone conversation in which he blistered Kirkland's wardrobe since the inception of the FAA. "This guy says he opposes welfare, WELL its only FAIR that we know who dresses this guy in the morning! Checkers? Diagonal Stripes? Puhleeasse!". Hampton recalled a trip to Vegas and Phoenix with the commish last year, "So we are driving to Phoenix and this guy is going on and on about how snazzy of a dresser Wags' has become since Reese. I'm looking down at Dwayne's courdory short set and high-top sneakers and thinking maybe Wags can give him a few tips. Well we get to the stadium and I hear Wags calling my name, before I can turn I hear commish say 'SHARP!'. Just then I turn to see this guy with khakis and a mock turtle neck! Did I mention it was PHOENIX?!?!?!" Hampton is looking forward to the game but will be sure to not sit ANYWHERE he can see Kirkland.....and his outfit.